A woman has shared how she planned a trip to Disneyland with her children and nephew but is leaving her stepdaughter at home with her dad because she complains every time they go away
A mum has sparked a debate after admitting she is taking her children and nephew on a holiday to Disney but is leaving her stepdaughter at home to sulk.
The 41-year-old has one child with her husband, 41, one from a previous relationship, and welcomed two stepchildren into her life when she remarried.
However, she says her 16-year-old stepdaughter has been causing issues in the household, especially when it comes to ‘family time’. She said on Reddit: “We have always treated the children as equally as possible, though with extended family, they don’t always go on the same trips if we don’t go.
“His parents take his children on vacations and my child doesn’t want to go without me. This has never been an issue. But when we plan trips, we always take everyone. The problem is that my stepdaughter doesn’t really like anything that anyone else does. Or she will like it until someone else does.
“She really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado for skiing. None of the other children were that excited, but seeing as it’s hard to find things she likes, we went. She was excited until the other kids started enjoying it too, and then she wanted to leave. This is pretty much what happens when we go on trips to the zoo, museums, or anything. And if other people are already happy about it, she immediately hates the idea.”
Wanting to understand her mindset, her biological parents and her stepparents each spent one-on-one time with her as well as in their couples to see whether this was the issue – but it didn’t make any difference. She added: “We thought maybe she just wanted time with each parent alone. So we did that with both her mom and dad. She still complained the whole time.
“Her counsellor said maybe she wants activities with both parents to show they get along. They did that but if they showed any enjoyment at all, she hated whatever they were doing. We’ve done girl days with her mum and me and she hates it. We have found the less enthusiastic we are, the more she wants to do it.” So, they allowed the 16-year-old to pick the family activity but as soon as one person showed interest or enjoyment over it, the teenager started to complain about it.
“If she sees someone like something she chose, she complains and says it was her idea like no one else can enjoy it. So this year, we had been talking about Disney for a while. My nephew has cancer and has always wanted to go with us because he has no siblings and not many friends because he’s missed a lot of school.
“My stepdaughter said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go. Her father said he would have a lot of work to catch up on when he got back. He does seasonal work and has to take the work while he can. The kids agreed that they wanted to go and he wanted us to, so I made the plans and we decided to go back another year with all of us.
“I made the reservations for myself, my sister, my nephew, and three of our children, deciding stepdaughter could stay back with dad since she didn’t want to go anyway.” However, despite asking her multiple times whether she wants to come and being rejected each and every time, her husband believes she should have booked her a ticket anyway.
She added: “She was adamant every time she didn’t want to go. Her dad says she always says she doesn’t want to go but would regret missing out. This is based on last summer’s vacation when she said she didn’t want to go but loved it. We were at a campground and it rained the whole time. We were pretty miserable but she thought it was funny.”
Commenting on her post, one user said: “It sounds like she is struggling to find her individuality. My advice for when she starts grumping at places is to straight up ignore her. Keep having your fun and let her learn to join.”
Another user added: “I’d only advise, you, your partner, and the child’s mother to focus more on her mental health treatment because this thing sounds very pathological, to say the least.”
