Dave Chalmers has been described as ‘an incredible family man’
A 55-year-old dad has died just seven weeks after being diagnosed with motor neurone disease. Dave Chalmers died in the early hours of Sunday morning. His wife, Natalie, said: “What’s happened has broken our lives. Although Dave made peace with his diagnosis, I hadn’t – and I don’t think I ever will. He was my wingman. There’s no rhyme or reason why he was diagnosed with MND. It was just unfair.”
Natalie said Dave had suffered repeated sinus infections for months and was then diagnosed with stage one prostate cancer in April last year. She said: “By early summer he started to feel lethargic and didn’t have the strength to hold his head up – it was literally drooping. We couldn’t work out why he wasn’t improving and during this time he was becoming weaker and weaker, so we went back and forth to the GP and A&E and Dave had so many CT scans and blood tests.”
In October, a GP suggested the cause of his exhaustion and three-stone weight loss could be neurological. Dave was diagnosed with MND just three days later, on November 24, following an emergency MRI scan.
“His original prognosis was about 18 months, but his breathing was just getting worse and in the end his deterioration was merciless and rapid,” Natalie said. “Thankfully he didn’t lose his voice completely and was still generally able to stand and do a couple of steps, but the last week of his life was horrid and by Friday he was in the hospice.”
Natalie said she will never come to terms with how quickly her husband was taken by the incurable disease, which causes messages from motor neurons to gradually stop reaching muscles. Dave is survived by Natalie, their children Amelia, 19, and Caleb, 16, and his brother Denver and sister Debbie.
Natalie said: “Dave would do anything for you and was there whenever you asked him for help. He was sarcastic and had a terrific sense of humour that I’m glad he kept through this cruel disease. Even on Saturday afternoon, he was laughing and making others smile, and that gave him the strength and courage to fight as hard as he could in a battle he was never going to win.
“He just never wanted any recognition for what he did. He just wanted to support us and was an incredible family man.”
Born in Helensburgh, Scotland, in July 1970, Dave met Natalie in the Bonkers nightclub in Folkestone in 1994. He was working at Napier Barracks as a NAAFI (Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes) manager at the time. The couple later moved to Dave’s native West Dunbartonshire and married in July 2004.
They relocated to Ashford in 2006 and welcomed son Caleb three years later. He also loved fishing and was a popular figure at his local pub. Dave’s daughter Amelia said: “A motor neurone disease diagnosis promises no hope of recovery, only the certainty of loss. Despite this, my dad continued to be the father he always was – kind, loving and unwaveringly loyal.
“He remained a mentor and a provider, with his last wish being to ensure the security and happiness of his family. My dad’s commitment to his family and community was evident in everything he did. He was generous without wanting or expecting praise and much of his life was spent devoting his time to others.
“Whilst MND ultimately cut his life short, it couldn’t take away his character. He will be remembered for the strength and bravery he carried until the very end.”
His brother Denver said: “I looked within myself and I don’t think I could have found the fortitude to remain as positive as he did in the face of inevitable and imminent death. David must have also truly loved Ashford United. I had never seen him wear anything green – far less a green and white football top.
“One of the last games we watched together was Ashford’s victory over the Jersey Bulls which he somehow managed to get on his TV at home. The disease he was battling never ever overcame his spirit, his ready smile, or his sense of humour.”
About 5,000 adults in the UK are living with MND and there is currently no cure.
