WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT. Two brothers have bravely opened up about the sickening abuse they suffered at the hands of the uncle who ‘began grooming [them] the moment he walked through the door’
A man has bravely opened up about the harrowing abuse he and his twin brother were subjected to at the hands of their evil uncle.
The husband of their mother’s sister Maureen, sick Clive took advantage of his close proximity to the two young boys, who he sexually abused right up until they turned 16.
Growing up in ’80s Lincoln, Ryan and Phil Fisher have many happy memories of playing with their other brothers, Leighton, Warren and Allan, but a dark family secret overshadowed their childhood, leaving Ryan blaming himself for the best part of three decades.
The twins were inseparable as youngsters, and Ryan felt a sense of fierce protectiveness over Phil, who had suffered a stroke as a newborn, leaving him with difficulties with his movements and speech. Neither Ryan nor Phil remembers exactly when Clive’s campaign of abuse began, but Ryan believes he “began grooming [them] the moment he walked through the door”.
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In an interview with Crime Monthly in 2021, Ryan, who is now in his 40s, recalled: “I can’t remember how long it took for him to start touching us. First, it was a hand on our knee or sliding down to our calves. His next steps were to introduce a few games that involved touching. The first one was all about a spider called Incy Wincy that climbed up a water pipe.
“That was one where his hands climbed up our bodies until he came to the ‘tickle you under there’ bit. It made us scream with laughter, and he used this to full advantage.”
During family holidays to Scotland and Cambridge, Clive would make excuses to spend time alone with Ryan and Phil, choosing moments when their aunt Maureen was in the bath. All the while, he would pretend he was spending those 30 minutes making phone calls.
At that time, Ryan didn’t fully understand what was happening, but he was still frightened. He remembered: “Every time Clive came into our room, I felt ashamed. Dread would flood my body, and I would freeze. I wanted to protect Phil, but my whole body would be shaking with fear, wondering which of us he’d choose.
“Inside, I felt such shame – shame that I couldn’t see a way out of what we were enduring, and shame that I was unable to protect Phil. We made a pact to never talk about it – we didn’t know how to. We still haven’t to this day.
The abuse Ryan endured led to difficulties at school, where he would lash out and get told off for daydreaming. Teachers didn’t realise that his behaviour was a desperate cry for help.
Ryan, who now lives in Durham, stopped caring about his personal appearance or washing, and although he was teased, he just “didn’t care”. Eventually, the abuse stopped when the boys turned 16. Ryan said: “I remember the last day Clive came into our room in August 1994. He told us he would not be visiting again and told us how bad we smelled. But all I felt was a wave of relief. We were free, or so I thought.”
Two years later, after they’d turned 18, Ryan and Phil found the courage to open up to their brother Leighton, who encouraged them to contact the Samaritans. The woman on the other end of the line was sympathetic as she listened to their story and urged them to call the police.
Before filing their police report, Ryan and Phil told their parents everything, and although some family members asked them not to report Clive’s crimes, they went ahead and did so anyway. The “fantastic” officers at the station were supportive and made sure to offer the teenagers counselling.
Clive was finally arrested and pleaded guilty before the case could go to trial. He was handed a four-year sentence, of which he served 18 months.
Although the truth was finally out in the open, there was still a long road ahead for Ryan, who turned to drink and drugs as a coping mechanism. Sadly, he and Phil also stopped speaking, their closeness a painful memory of all they’d been through.
Ryan reached a turning point after meeting and falling in love with his now-wife Helen, with whom he shares his son Harry. With Helen’s support, coupled with counselling sessions, Ryan was able to come to terms with his trauma and is now dedicated to helping others.
He and Phil have since teamed up with the author Toni Maguire to pen the book Please Protect Us, in a bid to tackle the stigma surrounding men who have suffered sexual abuse, and to encourage others to open up about their experiences.
If you’ve been the victim of sexual assault, you can access help and resources via www.rapecrisis.org.uk or calling the national telephone helpline on 0808 802 9999
Do you have a story to share? Email me at julia.banim@reachplc.com
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