Abby says her children pulled away from her as all she thought about was codeine
A mum prescribed codeine after having weight loss surgery has detailed the devastating effect the drug has had after she fell into a spiral of addiction. Abby House became hooked on the opioid pain relief, taking 10 pills a day, neglecting her hygiene and personal care, and isolating herself from loved ones – as well as racking up debts of thousands of pounds.
The mum-of-two had undergone a gastric sleeve, but after six months she found herself becoming “obsessed” and reliant on the drug. Soon, things became entirely out of control, leading to a four-year battle.
“I would count down the minutes until my kids went to bed so ‘mum mode’ could end and ‘addict mode’ could begin,” said Abby, 36, from Gloucester. She hid her “stash” under her bed, count how many pills she had to hand, and then start taking them – regularly taking 10 30mg pills a day.
The addiction began after she decided to get weight loss surgery in 2021, which led to a prescription of codeine for pain management in the months that followed. At first, it was her “best friend”, alleviating the depression and anxiety she had been suffering with.
With no warnings about its addictive nature, she started to pop the pills liberally – even, eventually, waking up and taking them before work, where she managed a team of 30 in her NHS job. Abby describes the sensation as a spreading warmth throughout her body, and giving her “euphoria” as she “melted into the bed”.
She said: “I’d feel like I was floating and could finally relax. This may sound like heaven, but the reality is so far away from that. After that euphoric feeling came the crash.”
After just 20-30 minutes, Abby said the effects would wear off and she would be left “a shell of a person”. She said: “I’d be slumped on my bed [when at home], the high would fade and I’d just feel exhausted and achy.
“My head would feel so fuzzy and on the verge of an intense headache. All I’d want to do is rest, but my body wouldn’t let me. Sleep wouldn’t come – and then would come the ‘itch’.
“I would scratch my eyeballs if I could. All I could think is ‘Shall I take some more?’.” bby’s tolerance was “way too high”, meaning she would need to take more and more codeine to reach that euphoric state. She added: “Codeine abuse feels great at first – but there’s a reason it’s called abuse, and it’s because the aftermath is brutal.”
At the height of her addiction, Abby’s self-care was “non-existent” – she stopped caring about her appearance, and hygiene “went out of the window”.
She said: “Whatever clothes I had on, I would sleep in and I’d do that [wear them] for four or five days sometimes, without having a shower. Brushing my teeth was the hardest thing, it was like climbing Everest and there were times I’d go days and days without doing it.
“I used to be house proud but things like cleaning slipped. There is so much of you that gets lost to addiction.”
The pills would also make her constipated, with Abby once going two-and-a-half weeks without passing stool. Abby, who has sole custody of her children, aged 10 and 14, didn’t require any intervention as she was able to care for them, but found her addiction affected her parenting.
She said: “My relationship with my children became distant. Although I was doing everything I needed to do for them and they were well looked after, in terms of clothing, food, appointments, school, our emotional connection was affected as I was so distant.
“All I could think about was codeine. If I had it, I was happy, if I didn’t, I’d be withdrawing, and if I only had a few left and couldn’t take as many as I wanted, I would be flat. Because I was so up and down, I felt like my children withdrew from me and where my house was once loud and boisterous, it became silent.”
Abby also fell into £8,000 of debt as she tried to stay on top of the mounting costs of getting more codeine than her prescribed amount from the GP, purchasing strong codeine online. She would borrow money from people she knew, always lying about what it was for, but they became suspicious and eventually cut her off.
Abby said: “I’d lie to everyone about everything to cover up my using. I was distant from everyone, and my mood was unpredictable. After a while, I started to isolate myself and developed extreme social anxiety.
“Towards the end of my addiction, I would lie in bed, severely depressed, my personality and sense of humour stolen from me by codeine. It was all I could think about, and life felt bleak and miserable.”
With her life “falling apart”, and with her in £8,000 of debt and unpaid bills, Abby knew she needed help. She said: “I was also well aware that my health was suffering hugely – I was on the verge of overdose every day due to the amount I was taking.”
Abby finally reached out to her local drug and alcohol service in October 2024, and was put on an opiate replacement treatment programme and assigned a key worker. She said: “The first six months were really tough – I was in such a bad place.
“It took for me to hit rock bottom to realise I was the only thing standing in the way of happiness. I had pushed everyone out of my life and my mum was the one person who tried and tried with me, but we argued one day and I knew she wasn’t going to try with me anymore.
“It broke my heart. I knew if I continued on that path, I would leave my boys without their mum. From that point on, I have worked every single day to be the best version of myself.”
While on a career break to focus on her health, Abby started a TikTok page, chronicling her recovery openly and honestly, which now has 20,000 followers. Connecting with fellow recovering addicts and raising awareness of the dangers of codeine has become a “passion” for the mum.
She said: “Life in recovery is amazing. I wake up happy and grateful for everything in my life. I work hard every day to be a good, honest person – and it’s paid off. My relationship with my children is incredible – we have an amazing bond.
“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, truly. I’m looking after myself again, which took a while to get back because at the start of recovery, all you can focus on is that you’ve lost your ’best friend’ – codeine.
“There is a huge stigma attached to addiction, but the more people come forward and talk about what they are going through or have been through, the more we can banish that and create a safe space. No matter how isolated your addiction makes you, you aren’t alone – and connecting with like-minded people will help you more than you know.”
