Speaking to the Mirror as part of our Missed campaign, mum Nerissa Tivy says she was ignored by police for two years when her son Alexander went missing – now the Met have offered cash in a bid to find him
On Mother’s Day four mums shared their pain with our readers – speaking movingly about marking the special day without their missing sons, as we launched our Missed campaign. Now the Met Police are offering a £10,000 reward for information relating to the unsolved disappearance of one of them, north Londoner Alexander Sloley, who went missing 16 years ago – two days before his 17th birthday.
Detective Chief Inspector Sarb Kaur, who is leading the investigation, tells The Mirror: “Alexander Sloley was reported missing to police on August 8, 2008. Since then there have been extensive enquiries made by police, but sadly Alex has not yet been located. We are now offering up to £10,000 reward for any person that has information relating to Alex’s whereabouts.”
While his mum, Nerissa Tivy, 56, welcomes the new appeal, she feels police failed to investigate Alexander’s disappearance properly when he went missing. And no one had informed her that he was involved in juvenile crime, despite him being a minor.
The mum-of-four hopes the renewed attempts to discover what happened to Alexander, who would be 33 now, will bring her closure, but she fears the worst. “I personally feel something terrible has happened to Alexander. I think somebody has done something to him and he’s no longer here with us,” she says.
‘Motherhood for us is like a puzzle with a piece missing – we’re constantly grieving’
“I hope the Mirror’s Missed campaign and the police’s £10,000 reward appeal works and someone comes forward and they know something. When my daughter Latina did a video appeal recently, comments were made on it, and the same names were getting mentioned.”
DCI Kaur confirms: “This remains an active missing person investigation, subject to regular review by senior officers and will remain so with the objective of locating Alex and bringing some comfort to his family.
“We have recently met with Alex’s mother to outline how we intend to progress our investigation to locate him.”
Every year 170,000 people disappear off our streets in the UK – one person every 90 seconds is reported missing. The Mirror’s Missed campaign highlights that those from Black, Asian or working class families are less likely to be investigated or reported in the media.
Bright accountancy student Alexander went missing on August 4, 1991, after staying at a friend’s house in Edmonton, North London. And his mum says it took two years before police began to investigate his case.
“When Alexander first went missing, the police just thought that he’d run away. It took them two years before they came to my house and said they were going to investigate Alexander being missing,” she says. “They said he ran away because he was due to go to court on a charge of possession of cannabis.”
Since he disappeared, one of Alexander’s closest friends has been in and out of prison. “He’s only just come out last year,” confirms Nerissa.
No trace of Alexander has ever been found, and he disappeared with very little money, no change of clothes or passport, and his mobile phone failed to connect.
The nightmare began when the teenager, who loved swimming and football and supported Arsenal, failed to come home for his birthday, which is when his mum realised something was very badly wrong. “At that age he was out with his friends a lot, so sometimes he was not coming home and would stay out,” she says.
“Then he started staying with this particular boy and began not turning up at college. And this friend’s mum was apparently the one who was covering for him.
“Alexander wanted to be a plumber until I reminded him he didn’t like being dirty! So he followed me and went to college to study accountancy.”
Maths student Alexander attended City and Islington College, giving Nerissa no reason to suspect he was known to the police. She says: “The police visited me recently and are now telling me after 16 years, they’re going to sit down and show me a chronological list of every time Alexander got arrested.
“I asked them, ‘How many times was he arrested? And I was never told about it.’ Now it’s turned out that when he was in custody, he called this boy’s mum. She would go and bail him out. This has all come to light recently.”
A number of police appeals have been issued in the last 16 years – including a digitally-aged photo of what Alexander could look like now. “My son doesn’t even know he has five nieces and nephews. My eldest grandchild Harley was born the year he didn’t come home,” says Nerissa, for whom motherhood as “like a jigsaw with a piece missing”.
Alexander’s father Christopher passed away in 2014 without knowing what happened to his son. He has three siblings – Tasha, 37, Tazra, 34, and Latina, 21 – and the youngest was just four when he went missing.
Former book-keeper Nerissa, who still lives in the same house in Finsbury Park, North London, says: “For years after Alexander didn’t come home, I stayed in the house a lot – just in case he knocked at the door.”
She was alerted to something being wrong by a phone call on August 2 2008 from the mother of the boy he had been staying with. “She asked if I had seen Alex. And I was like, ‘Well no!’ And she said her son was going out of his mind, going round to police stations and hospitals and I said, ‘Well why is he doing that?” And she said, “Because we believe that Alex is missing. No one’s seen him,” recalls Nerissa.
“I was annoyed with her because she was obviously harbouring Alex at her house – her son would never come here and stay. Because she knew, I would call and say, ‘Oh your son stayed over, you know?’ She didn’t think it was important to make that call so you know your child is in her house.”
Because of this lack of communication, Nerissa is unsure exactly how long her son had been gone. “I didn’t know how long he had been missing by then, because he would go and stay at his friend’s house for a week. Then I got a phone call from one of her sons to say he was coming home in a taxi for his birthday. And that never happened,” she says.
“I was concerned when this boy’s mum said Alexander was missing, and then when he didn’t come home for his birthday, that’s when I knew something was definitely wrong.”
Having decided Alexander had just run away, the police didn’t consider him a missing person, leaving the family without help or support. “All we could do was make our own missing posters and look for him,” recalls Nerissa. “It was my daughter who contacted Missing People charity, who said to the police, ‘Look, he’s a minor, he could be sleeping rough.’
“The police gave them the go-ahead for them to do the first appeal which was December. And that was two and a half years after he’d first gone.”
Nerissa remembers Alexander as a boy who never missed a Mother’s Day or her birthday. “He was about 13 or 14 when he bought me a food mixer,” she says. “My daughter Latina says to me, ‘Mum, every time you use it, you call Alex’s name. Every time.’”
Somehow, despite her heartbreak, Nerissa manages to keep a brave face on for the sake of her family. “I just miss my son but I have to keep going because I’ve got the grandkids,” she explains. “I’ve only got one grandson Christopher – the rest are girls. He’s very mischievous and my daughter always says, ‘Christopher is just like Alex,’ so in a way I still have Alexander – but in my grandson.”
DCI Kaur adds: “I would ask anyone with information who could assist us in locating Alex to please get in contact immediately, no matter how insignificant you think this could be.
“You can contact us by calling or texting on 07860 369603. A dedicated incident room is staffed by experienced detectives who will handle all calls with the utmost confidentiality. If you prefer to remain anonymous, you can also share information through Crimestoppers.”
“The Met is committed to continuously enhancing our strategy for investigating missing person cases. Since the HMICFRS inspection, we have significantly improved our response to child exploitation and missing children investigations. We also continue to strengthen our collaboration with partners, charities and support networks across London, to improve our work in this area.”
• The Mirror is using its platform to launch Missed – a campaign to shine a light on underrepresented public-facing missing persons in the UK via a live interactive map, in collaboration with Missing People Charity. Because every missing person, no matter their background or circumstances, is someone’s loved one. And they are always Missed.
