When she was pregnant, Harriet Lawler found a lump under her arm. Now living with incurable cancer, the doting mum shares why she won’t give up fighting, for the daughter’s sake
Having endured chemotherapy, a lumpectomy and 16 rounds of radiotherapy, Harriet Lawler thought she could finally enjoying being a mum again when she was told her cancer was gone. Nine months later and with a holiday in Mauritius with her husband Joe and young daughter Nellie to look forward to, the charity worker was hoping a pain in her arm would prove to be nothing of concern.
But when the results came back last May, Harriet’s worst fears were realised. She says: “I was at work when the surgeon phoned and said there were four nodules on my lungs. I was stunned. I never expected the cancer to have spread to my lungs.” The triple negative breast cancer was now at stage 4. Although treatable, it was incurable. Harriet says: “I left work to call Joe in the car and was sobbing in disbelief. My world stopped when I was told my cancer was incurable, but I still feel lucky to have an amazing husband, the best little girl and wonderful family and friends. I cherish every day.”
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Harriet’s cancer journey began as she was getting ready for her baby shower in August 2023. Growing up in Middlesbrough, she and her pals had picked York for the celebration later that day. Harriet, then 33, says: “I was in the shower when I felt a lump in my left armpit. It felt quite big and I had no idea how long it had been there. I’d heard you can get lumpy armpits with hormones in pregnancy. I thought it would be nothing and during my baby shower, I didn’t let it bother me. We had afternoon tea at Betty’s and then cocktails planned. I wasn’t drinking, of course, but I was all dressed up and really looking forward to it.”
A week later, her GP told Harriet they thought it was hormonal and not to worry, but to come back with any further concerns. Neither she nor Joe, 37, who works in security, were too worried until she found a second lump and was referred to a breast clinic by her doctor.
At 35 weeks pregnant, she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. Harriet says: “It was such a shock. There’s no history of cancer in my family. I’d never checked my breasts for lumps or changes before. I remember briefly seeing something in a magazine about Amy Dowden when I was pregnant, but I didn’t read it properly. I felt for her, but it didn’t feel like something that would ever affect me. When they told me I had to be induced at 36 weeks, I was worried my baby wouldn’t be ready.”
Finally, on October 8, 2023, after a 90-hour induction and a forceps delivery, Nellie was born, at Nottingham City Hospital weighing 7lb. Harriet says: “I had worried before Nellie was born that we might not connect, because of everything going on. But the love was overwhelming. Our bond was instant. I knew I had about a week with her, before my treatment. We really cherished that time.”
When Nellie was 10 days old, Harriet was back in hospital with five hours to kill before her first chemo. She says: “I set up an email address for Nellie and wrote to her explaining everything that was happening and told her I would document our journey together.” Harriet, head of retail for a charity where she currently works one day a week, reacted to her drugs and had to stay in hospital for three days, leaving Nellie with Joe.
She says: “It gave them some real bonding time. I’m so lucky he’s such a hands-on dad.” After six months of chemo, the lumpectomy and round after round of radiotherapy, Harriet was overjoyed to be told she was cancer free. But in September 2024, three days before a trip to Dublin with friends to celebrate getting the all-clear, Harriet found another lump.
Doctors confirmed her cancer was back and although the lump was removed, the private PET scan would later show that the disease had spread to her lungs. Choosing not to tell anyone else until after the Mauritius holiday so she could process the news, Harriet threw herself into researching ways to stay healthy during the trip. Back home, Harriet emailed her mum Mary, 72, hoping that writing things down would help her to understand the diagnosis. She says: “It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”
Shedding hair, the day before her 35th birthday she went to the hairdressers and had it shaved off. When she saw Nellie, she says: “She ran over, shouted ‘Mummy!’, stroked my head and went back to reading a book.” Currently having chemotherapy two weeks on and one week off, despite numbness and pins and needles in her hands and feet, Harriet says: “I feel fitter and healthier than ever.” She says of Nellie, now two-and-a-half: “She tries to brush my tiny bit of regrown hair.”
Harriet still composes emails for her daughter, saying: “I write about the funny things she does and send her photos, videos and songs we love. I’ve recently told her about my last scan and how there’d been progression, so I’ve changed chemotherapy to try and reduce the tumours in my lungs.”
Harriet also features in Breast Cancer Now’s new TV advert and has raised more than £1,000 for the charity. Almost one million people in the UK are living with, or beyond a breast cancer diagnosis – a figure projected to rise to more than 1.4 million by 2050. The charity has committed to be “Breast Cancer Now until we’re Breast Cancer Never”, reflecting its ambition for everyone with the disease to live and live well by 2050.
Due to the amount of lesions in her lungs, Harriet is not eligible for radiotherapy or alternative therapies on the NHS or privately in the UK. Her sister Lucie and niece Lauren launched a GoFundMe page to finance additional treatments for her, costing around £1,500 a month. And Harriet hopes to try cryotherapy at The Hallwang Clinic in Germany that costs from £9,580. She says: “Doctors can’t say exactly how long I have left, but my next big milestone is living to see Nellie start school. There’s no way I’m giving up. I can’t, for her sake.”
Donate to Harriet’s fund HERE. For more information about Breast Cancer Now, see HERE
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