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Home » ‘I was taught to sexually please my husband at 14 in a room full of teens’
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‘I was taught to sexually please my husband at 14 in a room full of teens’

thebusinesstimes.co.ukBy thebusinesstimes.co.uk24 October 20253 Views
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‘I was taught to sexually please my husband at 14 in a room full of teens’
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The practice was a way to prepare for child brides for marriage and teach them to please their husbands sexually

A disturbing practice once used to groom child brides for “marriage” is now being transformed by young girls in Zimbabwe, fighting back against the tradition that taught children how to sexually satisfy their adult husbands.

“Nhanga” – a local term meaning “girls’ bedroom” – was historically a female-only space used to drill adolescent girls in obedience to their husbands. The guarded hut served for “secret, musical rites of passage render young girls eligible for lobolo, bride-price negotiation,” according to Thomas F. Johnston in The Secret Music of Nhanga Rites.

He wrote: “Through song, mime, and mild forms of physical mutilation, the old women overseers of the Nhanga teach initiates how to please the husband sexually, and rehearse them in the duties of a junior wife: carry water long distances, clear village fireplaces of ashes, gather firewood, tend the fields, pound maize in the mortar, and show humility to senior co-wives.”

But in Shamva, this tradition is being completely turned on its head, reports the Express. “Here, the Nhanga is “a safe space, every girl feels free,” 18-year-old Anita Razo, who joined the group at 14 and now guides younger girls, told the Associated Press.

Within the tent, guided by a mentor, the girls frankly discuss sexuality, child marriage, teen pregnancy, gender bias, education, economic empowerment, and the law.

The aim is to strengthen girls against child marriage in the country where one in three girls marries before 18, according to the United Nations Children’s Fund, which calls it “a national emergency demanding urgent action. “

Zimbabwe, along with numerous other African nations, has banned child marriage, but the eradication of this practice is hindered by poverty, sluggish law enforcement, and entrenched cultural and religious traditions. Samantha Chidodo was coerced into a violent marriage at 17 to a man nearly ten years her senior, but now, at 26, she’s a final-year law student.”

“All I wanted was to play and think of my future. Suddenly I had to be a mother and wife,” she shared during a camp that combined tent sessions with a “girls and goals” football tournament.

“I didn’t even know what to do. I would be dead asleep, oblivious that I needed to breastfeed. A woman next door would take the crying baby, feed him and return him to the sleeping teen mother,” she said.

After two years, she left, but was shunned by her neighbours. With the support of Rozaria Memorial Trust, she returned to school and became one of the modern Nhanga pioneers.

“Initially we were only about 20 girls. Almost 90% of us did well, some went to college, others started projects. The community began to see our power, and encouraged their children to join,” she said. “Nhanga is now seen as cool.”

Now more than 200 girls in her village participate with many schools across Zimbabwe adopting the model. Xmas Savanhu, a local village headman, said leaders now enforce rules against early marriage and offenders reported to police and forced to pay a cow as a fine held in trust by the chief for the girl’s education. He explained: “This ensures she can return to school without financial worries.”

Enet Tini, a teacher and girls’ mentor at a school that adopted this model, said that despite their efforts and government policy, cultural attitudes persist. “The gap that we have lies with the adults. They view pregnancy or child marriage as indiscipline so they think the girls should be punished,” she added.

Nyaradzai Gumbonzvanda, deputy executive director at U.N. Women and founder of the Rozaria Memorial Trust, labelled child marriage as “essentially rape and sexual exploitation” and a global issue, but a huge problem in Africa specifically.

“Laws are important … but it is critically essential to reach to the girls themselves, to do the shift in the social norms in our communities,” said Gumbonzvanda, who established Rozaria Memorial Trust in 2007 in memory of her late mother, who was married at 13.

Razo, the young mentor, concurs that the long-term solution should involve the young girls, saying: “If we can pressure each other into behaving badly, then we can also influence each other to act positively. “

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