When Delia Balmer first met John Sweeney, she thought she’d found a kindred spirit – but little did she know that she was gazing into the eyes of a killer.
Agency nurse Delia was 40 years old when she first met Sweeney, who approached her at a Camden bar with the offer of a drink. The well-travelled Sweeney initially seemed like an interesting prospect, with his work travelling to construction sites in Germany making him seem exotic.
Delia was intrigued, and in the early days of their courtship, Sweeney also appeared to be an attentive boyfriend, often gifting her bunches of flowers, and making sure to call her regularly. By the time Sweeney moved into Delia’s home, however, she began to notice disturbing aspects of his personality and, in retrospect, views his generosity as a sign of manipulation.
In her 2017 book Living With a Serial Killer, which has helped inform ITV series Until I Kill You, Delia wrote: “Subtle changes happened slowly. I should’ve known something was wrong but I am too soft and trusting. I’d never come across anything like it before.”
Speaking recently about the topic of love-bombing – a type of abuse hidden beneath the guise of excessive flattery – Rebecca Goshawk, Head of Partnerships and Public Affairs at Solace Womens Aid told Cosmopolitan: “Love bombing is one of the most insidious tactics of an abuser, and can be used early in a relationship or to try to reconcile after an incident of abuse. They will lavish you with attention, compliments and gifts, to bond you to them and create a dependency which can make it harder to recognise abusive behaviour.”
Soon the lavish gestures gave way to more disturbing tendencies, with Sweeney beginning to emotionally and psychically manipulate Delia. Starting with constant phone calls and increasingly controlling behaviour, this escalated to physical throttling, death threats and rape. And those close to her had concerns.
When Delia took Sweeney to Texas to meet her family, her parents were reported less than impressed. Speaking in the documentary Until I Kill You: The Real Story, Delia explained: “He did not fit in”. Meanwhile, in the same doc, Delia’s brother Stewart spoke of how he’d asked Sweeney whether or not he’d ever killed anyone – but never received a straightforward ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. He added: “I just figured my sister knew better.”
Things got from bad to worse once they were back in the UK, with Sweeney tightening his control over Delia, cruelly critiquing her appearance and criticising how she spent her free time. Delia was left living in fear, and the worst was yet to come.
In 1994, after Sweeney assaulted a man in Germany, Delia kicked him out, and his response made her realise just how dangerous he truly was. In her book, Delia shared how she’d discovered a bag containing suspicious-looking tools concealed behind a bathroom panel, which she believed was a ‘body disposal kit meant for me’.
Petrified of what Sweeney might do next, Delia told the police of her discovery and even changed the locks in a bid to feel safe. However, undeterred, evil Sweeney forced his way into her home and proceeded to hold her captive. Over the course of four terrifying days, Delia was kept restrained to her bed, with Sweeney threatening to mutilate her tongue if she so much screamed.
It was at this point, with Delia at his mercy, that Sweeney confessed to the brutal murder of his ex-girlfriend, the American model and photographer Melissa Halstead, and two other men in Amsterdam. Melissa’s remains had been pulled from a Rotterdam canal in 1990 but, at that time, they hadn’t been identified and a perpetrator hadn’t been found.
Remembering Sweeney’s sinister confession in her book, Delia wrote: “We had a room in Amsterdam. I went in. There were two Germans there with her. I killed them all. I didn’t know what to do with the bodies. I sat with them for three days. On the third day, I cut them up, and I put them in bags and I threw them in the canal.”
As Delia listened, she realised she was in grave danger. Not only was she faced with the ferocious temper of her violent ex-partner, but he had shared with a secret that could put him behind bars for a long time. She recalled: “He was very quick, and if I had tried anything, I probably would have ended up cut up.”
Brave Delia managed to stay calm, being careful not to rouse the ferocious rage of Sweeney who subjected her to assaults as well as threats with a knife and gun. Eventually, Sweeney fled and Delia was able to escape her hellish ordeal by the skin of her teeth. She then reported Sweeney to the police, but unfortunately, there was more horror in store.
After Delia filed a police report, Sweeney was sent to north London’s Pentonville Prison, only to be released on bail. It was then that Delia experienced a disturbing premonition. Speaking with the Mirror in 2017, Delia said: “I thought: ‘He will do something. He will cut me to bits. Just like he had Melissa’. The moment I discovered he was out, I was on edge. I knew he would be coming for me.”
Horrifyingly, her gut instinct proved all too accurate. Shortly before Christmas that year, Sweeney set upon Delia with an axe and a knife on her own doorstep, puncturing her lung, breaking both her arms and stabbing her in her breast and thigh. He also sliced off her little finger, which Delia recalls seeing ‘flying through the air’.
She said: “On the doorstep, I saw this finger fly through the air, and I thought: ‘That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to live in this anger and pain’. So I wasn’t happy when I woke up in an intensive care unit. I thought: ‘Oh no, I am alive. Now what hell?'”
Thankfully, Delia survived the attack after a neighbour intervened and Sweeney fled into the night once more, remaining undetected for seven years. While on the run, Sweeney murdered mum-of-three Paula Fields in 2000, throwing her body into London’s Regent’s Canal. He was finally captured and arrested in 2001 and handed a nine-year custodial sentence for the attack on Delia.
While serving time at Leicestershire’s Gartree Prison, Sweeney was also questioned about the deaths of Melissa and Paula, with officers believing there could well be a connection. Eventually, advances in DNA technology, paired with Delia’s testimony, helped authorities build a case against evil Sweeney, and bring him to justice.
Sweeney was found guilty of both murders and in 2011 he was sentenced to life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. The BBC reports that it’s believed Sweeney could have killed three other women who were reported missing between the years 1970 and 1990.
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. Those in the US can call the domestic violence hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Other international helplines can be found via www.befrienders.org
You can catch Until I Kill You: The Real Story this evening (November 7) at 9pm on ITV1.
